Arrive at Ryde Esplanade. No ferry from Ryde Pier Head. Wait! The taxi man instructs. We wait and wait and wait. At last we’re on our way to Fishbourne To catch the 15.30 car ferry. A long and winding road to our next port of call (actually only 3 miles) Missed connection: Won’t make the 16.08 from Portsmouth to Bristol "Perhaps we can make the 17.08?" "That’ll be the day" my companions chorus. 40 minutes instead of 15 on the ferry And a coach awaits to take us to the Harbour Station. Two peel off to London, the other three towards Cardiff. But bad news – the 17.08 is cancelled. A guard shouts “go to Fratton and pick up the next train from there” Fratton? Sounds ominous! Another station, another platform correction. And hello goodbye to the other two as they pass through. Mad or what? “Do you want to know a secret?” we’re asked by a local man As we wait another hour for the next train, “This is the worst station on the planet” The three of us look at each other: there’s no reply to that. It’s now 18.15. An announcement: “I want to tell you that we are sorry for the delay to the train to Salisbury, Bristol and all stations to Cardiff” 18.30 and two rather grubby carriages arrive for the Wales and the West. The toilet’s broken too But at least there’s a place for us on the train. When I get home I’ll claim my compensation Or perhaps I’ll cry instead. So to Temple Meads Arrive at 20.40 Two hours and two minutes late. But hey, I feel fine. And to First Great Western Don’t let me down again. Please, please me instead. THE END
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
Magical Mystery Tour
I shared the following reflections with Andrew Haines, Chief Operating Officer, First Great Western, after a particularly awful rail journey from IOW to Bristol. Rather than vent spleen ... I arrive 20 minutes early at Shanklin station. “A ticket to Ryde?” “Don’t need it, not a day tripper” I reply. 14.36 my return ticket says. "No such train" the station master regrets. Help! I look forlorn. "Run for your life" he kindly suggets As I dash on to the 14.17. Joking, to a future paperback writer or four, I say “The Fastcat link to Portsmouth’s cancelled” But the joke’s on me. "It’s true" the train manager adds. I’ve got a feeling about this journey, I think. Arrive at Ryde Esplanade. No ferry from Ryde Pier Head. Wait! The taxi man instructs. We wait and wait and wait. At last we’re on our way to Fishbourne To catch the 15.30 car ferry. A long and winding road to our next port of call (actually only 3 miles) Missed connection: Won’t make the 16.08 from Portsmouth to Bristol "Perhaps we can make the 17.08?" "That’ll be the day" my companions chorus. 40 minutes instead of 15 on the ferry And a coach awaits to take us to the Harbour Station. Two peel off to London, the other three towards Cardiff. But bad news – the 17.08 is cancelled. A guard shouts “go to Fratton and pick up the next train from there” Fratton? Sounds ominous! Another station, another platform correction. And hello goodbye to the other two as they pass through. Mad or what? “Do you want to know a secret?” we’re asked by a local man As we wait another hour for the next train, “This is the worst station on the planet” The three of us look at each other: there’s no reply to that. It’s now 18.15. An announcement: “I want to tell you that we are sorry for the delay to the train to Salisbury, Bristol and all stations to Cardiff” 18.30 and two rather grubby carriages arrive for the Wales and the West. The toilet’s broken too But at least there’s a place for us on the train. When I get home I’ll claim my compensation Or perhaps I’ll cry instead. So to Temple Meads Arrive at 20.40 Two hours and two minutes late. But hey, I feel fine. And to First Great Western Don’t let me down again. Please, please me instead. THE END
Arrive at Ryde Esplanade. No ferry from Ryde Pier Head. Wait! The taxi man instructs. We wait and wait and wait. At last we’re on our way to Fishbourne To catch the 15.30 car ferry. A long and winding road to our next port of call (actually only 3 miles) Missed connection: Won’t make the 16.08 from Portsmouth to Bristol "Perhaps we can make the 17.08?" "That’ll be the day" my companions chorus. 40 minutes instead of 15 on the ferry And a coach awaits to take us to the Harbour Station. Two peel off to London, the other three towards Cardiff. But bad news – the 17.08 is cancelled. A guard shouts “go to Fratton and pick up the next train from there” Fratton? Sounds ominous! Another station, another platform correction. And hello goodbye to the other two as they pass through. Mad or what? “Do you want to know a secret?” we’re asked by a local man As we wait another hour for the next train, “This is the worst station on the planet” The three of us look at each other: there’s no reply to that. It’s now 18.15. An announcement: “I want to tell you that we are sorry for the delay to the train to Salisbury, Bristol and all stations to Cardiff” 18.30 and two rather grubby carriages arrive for the Wales and the West. The toilet’s broken too But at least there’s a place for us on the train. When I get home I’ll claim my compensation Or perhaps I’ll cry instead. So to Temple Meads Arrive at 20.40 Two hours and two minutes late. But hey, I feel fine. And to First Great Western Don’t let me down again. Please, please me instead. THE END
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